During my 25+ years as a minister and almost 3 years as a missioner I find that I have spent a lot of my life giving to others. Which is great and important. However, I have not always been really good at receiving. Which at times has caused me to be unhealthy.
For example, when I lived in Sao Paulo as a missioner I struggled for a really long time. I wanted to be a missioner in Brazil and had the desire or calling to continue my work here. But I was not finding a way to recharge my batteries and lacked a way to connect with what feeds my soul. I was giving but not receiving. I had no idea how important it was for me to have regular contact with nature. The hectic lifestyle and pollution of a big city was not good for me. Because of this I suffered a lot of back pain, had more headaches, problems with astyma etc. So I took the leap of faith and left the comfort of receiving a salary and support from Maryknoll Lay Missioners and moved to Joao Pessoa to live with the Maryknoll Sisters. Here I am so much better. Today I went and walked on the beach and worked in the garden. As the water hit my legs it was almost like I felt the joy return to my body.
I have learned it is so important to have these outlets so that I can stay healthy and balanced in order to serve others. I see and experience some of the same things that I did in Sao Paulo. Poverty, violence, people who suffer from lack of education and good health care. I also witness lives of people who are loving, spiritual and very giving. Some days are harder than others, but without an outlet for myself I would fall back into a pattern of giving and not receiving what I need.
These past few months have been a learning experience for me. I am still surprised when I come in contact with nature of how life giving it is for me. I have also learned to receive the generosity of people who have given money and support to help me stay in mission. And I so grateful for the Maryknoll Sisters who have opened their home and hearts to me.
My wish is that I continue on this journey of learning how to be balanced in giving and receiving. Also I wish for many of my friends who are ministers, missioners, mothers and fathers that they have the opportunity to examine their lives and see if they are balanced as well. I know too many ministers who are unhealthy, overweight and stressed out because they are always giving to other people. I can say this because I have been there. But I can see now that this way of life is not good for them, their families or the people they serve.
I plan to continue my journey to give and receive and live a more balanced life and I hope that we all can do this which in turn will make for a healthier, happier, world.
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| A view from my walk on the beach today. So life giving. |
