Stepping out of the Boat Again.

Several years ago I was part of a team that sponsored a young adult retreat based on the book “If You Want To Walk On Water You Have To Get Out Of The Boat.” This idea based on the scripture where Jesus calls Peter to get out of the boat and walk on water to him has become a central theme of my life journey.  My friends and I are always joking about where are life is in regards to our boat, which usually means our comfort zone.

When I decided to become a Maryknoll Lay Missioner in Brazil 2 ½ years ago it surprised a lot of people in my life including myself.  I left my comfort zone when I sold everything I owned, left my job, my home and most importantly my family and friends to serve the marginalized in Brazil.  These last few years have been amazing and also very challenging.  I have learned so much about myself and the world as I worked with women in prison, youth who come from the poorest neighborhoods in Brazil, refugees and so many other groups of people affected by poverty and violence.

As I was living my life as a missioner I was pretty sure I was constantly living my life outside my boat.  Doing my best to keep my eyes on Jesus so I would not lose my way in these precarious waters called mission. Little did I know I would be called to step outside what has become my comfort zone as a Lay Missioner to live another reality of mission.

I will be leaving Maryknoll Lay Missioners which has been a huge support as I began my mission work in Brazil.  Living in Sao Paulo, one of the biggest cities in the world has been a challenge for me.  The commute on very crowded buses and metros for hours almost every day has been hard on my health.  For example I have a lot of back pain and my blood pressure is high for the first time in my life.  For these reasons and a few others I have decided the best thing is for me to leave Sao Paulo. 

In Brazil the Maryknoll Family works together.  We have Lay Missioners, Sisters, and Priests.  The Maryknoll Sisters have missioners in Sao Paulo and in the north of the country in Joao Pessoa.  I asked to transfer to Joao Pessoa to live and work with the Sisters because I feel called to continue my work in Brazil.  Unfortunately, the Lay Missioners were not able to support me in this transfer.  So here is my leap of faith, I am going to go without the support of the Lay Missioners to Joao Pessoa.  Although Maryknoll collaborates together all three entities have different leadership and financial support.  The Sisters are welcoming me into their home and work but there is no money to support me. 

I believe this is where faith and hard work come together.  The Maryknoll Sisters run a holistic health center for women called Afya in Joao Pessoa.  I will write more about it in the future.  It is so amazing to be part of this organization.  The women who are part of the team there are for the most part from very poor and difficult backgrounds.  Many of them came to Afya searching for a cure to their health problems.  Over time they have been trained and mentored into becoming health professionals. Every day they open their doors to mainly women but also men and children to be part of the process of helping people find natural and holistic health care.  I will write more later about what I will be doing at Afya. 

As I step out into these uncharted waters I have to say I am again surprised to find myself here.  However, I truly feel called to continue my mission journey.  I have worked really hard to get the skills I have now as a missioner in Brazil.  I am not ready  to walk away yet. I have never been on this journey alone and I am trusting Jesus’ call to get out of my boat and I am trying to keep my eyes focused on him and not all the uncertainty around me.

So now I am trying to put my life back into the two suitcases I came to Brazil with (not being real successful with this task).  Next Monday I will return to Oregon until the beginning of June.  To work, do some fundraising and to touch base with my family and other support networks. 

I am very grateful to Maryknoll Lay Missioners who have been my companions these last years especially all the Missioners in Sao Paulo.  I am truly sad to be leaving the organization, however, I had to make a choice for what is best for me and that is to move to Joao Pessoa to be with the Maryknoll Sisters.  I am also grateful to be welcomed into a loving community there who really do an amazing job of changing lives every day.  I ask all of you to send me good energy and prayers as I take this giant leap of faith into the waters of love and compassion for the poor and vulnerable in Brazil.