Who Are the woman in prison?

Today in a small room in a prison in São Paulo, Brazil, myself and fellow missioner Kathy Bond, began a new woman's health group.  To imagine the room we gather in picture a room with limish green walls, chairs, a desk and yesterday dead cockroaches on the cement floor.  The group is meant for seniors however two woman in their twenties wanted to join and so we let them.

Kathy lead the group in a get to know you exercise where we each selected a picture from a magazine that reminded us of something in our lives.  One by one the woman shared a little bit of their story.  I listened and was struck by the variety of woman gathered, and could not help but think about the question: So who are the woman in prison?  I got my answer as each one began to open up a little.

The first two woman, one dark skinned and one light skinned, shared how they had each worked in hospitals for many years.  They were very proud of the work they had done.  The next woman spoke with a deep, scratchy voice.  It reminded me of one I had heard on commercials about why you should not smoke.  She walks with a cane and seems to be in poor health.

She had chosen a photo of a demonstration against violence.  She cried as she told us that her husband use to beat her badly.  She showed parts of her body that had experienced a lot of violence.  She said if she had not experienced that violence perhaps she would not be in prison now.  She said her husband had been in prison for a while and she had visited him a lot but he did not visit her.  He had taken a mistress that was living in her house.  She was clearly a woman that had been beaten down by a life of violence and neglect.

The next woman told of a history of her family in prison.  Even now her children were in prison and it sounded to me as if her grandchildren were involved in activities that would lead them to prison too.  She said she felt abandoned because she was in prison alone and had been there with no visitors for two years.

The next few woman cried as they spoke of their children, grandchildren and parents.  They missed them so much and longed for them with great sorrow.  Kathy pointed out to the group that by coming together as a group of woman we could be there to support one another and that no one had to be totally alone.

One of the young woman who is in her early twenties shared how she had already been pregnant 7 times but had lost the children in miscarriages because of the use of crack cocaine.  She has been so excited to be in this health class in hopes to be able to find a way to get healthier while she is in prison.  One of the hopes of the course is to teach life skills that can help the woman while in prison but also to help them make a better life for themselves and their families when they are released from prison.

So who are the woman in prison?  The ones I met today are daughters, moms and grandmas.  They are woman who are poor and for the most part have had difficult lives.  They are nurses and crack users.  They are farmers and victims of violence.  They are people who cry and long for family.  They are  young and they are old.  They are woman with broken hearts and woman who dream of a better tomorrow.

***I have to say that I have written what I understood from our course.  However, my Portuguese is still in the beginning stages so some details may be a little different from what I understood.  Also, please know these are just snapshots of the endless numbers of stories told by the woman in prison.

Sacrifice

“It's not hard to decide what you want your life to be about. What's hard is figuring out what you're willing to give up in order to do the things you really care about.”   (Shauna Niequist, Bread & Wine)

Perhaps it is because Lent begins tomorrow that lately I have been reflecting on the meaning of sacrifice.  I looked up the word sacrifice in my attempt to understand it better.  The dictionary talked about offering something to a higher power, the destruction or surrender of something for something else, or something given up or lost.  Honestly, that all sounded a little depressing to me.  So why is sacrifice important to this life?  To my life?

I guess if I am truly honest with myself my reflection on sacrifice comes from my daily life here in Brazil.  A lot of what I share on Facebook or in my blog is the exciting and meaningful times I have here.  The hard times are not something I chose to dwell on much.  But there are a lot of them.  Daily having people look at me like I am crazy or stupid when I struggle with the language. Having people judge me or the way I live out my faith because it may not be what they think it should be for a missioner.  And the hardest of all for me is being so far away from my family and friends.  When I get caught in these moments of struggle I tend to ask myself is it all worth it?  Is it worth my sacrifice and the sacrifice of those I love at home for me to be here?

The answer to this question is yes, that is why I am still here.  But why?  Honestly, I don't know exactly.  A lot of it is based on faith.  Faith that I have been called to be a missioner in Brazil.  That somehow my presence here will matter.  I really do care about helping the poor and marginalized in our world.  So strongly I was willing to give up a lot to move across the world to do what I can for others.  This is my sacrifice.

As I write the words above I hesitated because it makes me sound like I have just surrendered my life and not gotten anything in return.  Which would be untrue.  By surrendering to what I feel called too I have gained so much.  I have gotten to do things I have never dreamed about and I have learned more about the world and myself than I could have imagined.  I live a privileged life.  It may not be one of material means but I am humbled by all the people that have crossed my path in Brazil.  

I think to love is to sacrifice.  I can look at the lives of my brother and sisters and see what they have given for the sake of their children.  The same applies for my parents who have given so much for their family.  There are so many people across the world sacrificing their lives in the military for the love of country and the privilege of freedom.  And of course Jesus gave the ultimate sacrifice for all of us.  

So for now I believe that to love fully involves some sacrifice.  We are all called to it, some in our homes, some in our neighborhoods or work places, and some in places far away from home.  For some it just comes naturally and for others it takes times of reflection like Lent to consider what needs to be done to change.  Sacrifice should change us and the world around us for the better.  

So as Lent begins and I consider what I should do, I ask myself where I should sacrifice for the sake of love and peace.  Thank goodness for me that no longer involves giving up candy.  For me it begs the question where can I make a change in order to love more deeply and give more freely?

 
   

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Your donations will either be applied directly to support my work, education, and ministries or used to support the general fund of MKLM. Financial Support can be sent to MKLM, P.O. Box 307, Maryknoll, NY 10545-0307 or online by going to https://app.etapestry.com/hosted/MaryknollLayMissioners/OnlineDonation.html?approach=5936 - Carolyn Trumble&contents=of Carolyn Trumble in mission. Please write “Carolyn Trumble- Mission Account” in the memo line or intention box to support me in mission. All contributions are tax deductible.  Thank you for any help you can provide.

Reaching the Young People of Brazil.

This year World Youth Day comes to Brazil.  However, most of the young people I work with cannot afford to go to Rio, which is a 5 hours bus ride away.

They told me they have never had a Starbucks Coffee because they are just too expensive.  One young woman told me she loved McDonalds and once a year she got a hamburger. 

My ministry with the youth of São Paulo is in Education including English, Culture & Communication.  Only 15% of the youth go on to college, hopefully the skills I help teach will give some of the young people a chance to go to college.

“For I was in prison and you can to visit me” Matthew 25 

This scripture has new meaning now as I assist with two woman’s health classes in two prisons in Brazil.  One group has foreigners and pregnant Brazilians.  The other group is for woman over 55. 

Most of the women we meet are victims of poverty.  The majority are involved in drug trafficking.  And most of them did it because of a concern for their family. 

Once a week we try to provide them with some information about their health.  And we offer them the gift of our presence.   Yesterday we did the course in Portuguese, English, & Spanish.  Not everyone understood everything.  But we all felt the support offered by a group of woman coming together. 

One Year in São Paulo, "What a Ride"

As I try to put into words my first year as a Maryknoll Lay Missioner in Brazil, I cannot help but think of the following quote: "What a ride!" My life has been up and down, careening left then right, full of mistakes and bad decisions, and if I died right now, even though I would love to live longer, I could say from the depths of my soul, "What a ride!"- Mike Yaconelli

My first year has been just that a wild ride.  It has been full of adventures, new beginnings, frustrations, heartbreaks, loneliness, new friends, and new discoveries and most of all a full surrender and faith in Jesus.  

I can only describe it as a similar reality to a one year old child.  This past year I have had to learn how to speak again, find my way in a new world, rely totally on the kindness and experience of others, try new foods, make new friends, and surrender my need for control.  Just like a one year old I discovered a lot about the world and myself.  Sometimes I cruised around on my own and sometimes I feel flat on my face.  Some days might have been hard but it was always an adventure and an experience.  One I would not trade.

Here are just a few of the things I did this last year.  

• Stayed with Brazilians and other Missioners and got to know the city.

• Spent three months at language school & continued with a tutor in Portuguese

• Visited a group of teen moms.

• Started helping with health groups in two woman prisons.

• Visited a school where another missioner was teaching and sex education.

• Went to the Quilumbos (land of the descendants of African slaves)

• Started working at the Centro do Juvenitude (a center for youth)

• Moved into an apartment with my roommate Catherine.

• Went to a summer course and was put in the oral expression class and did great.

• Went to Joao Passoa and Rio

• Went to my first Carnival

• Tried to learn to Samba (still don't know how too)

• Learned to make homemade soup and cake from scratch

• Made new friends and began new relationships 

It has been an exciting and tiring year.  But overall a good one.  I feel very privileged to be a missioner.  I look forward to my second year.  A year I hope to be able to communicate better and make more of an impact on the people I am so lucky to work with.



In the words of Mike Yaconelli "You cling to Jesus, you give your life to him, it will be wild, it will be dangerous, it will be unpredictable, but man will you know how to dance".  What a privilage for me to be able to dance this dance in Brazil.  I pray my time here makes a difference for others.  I know it has made a big difference in my life, and for that I am grateful. 

This year I hope to dance better to the Brazilian beat.

BLESSED ARE THE WOMAN

Cheers from the woman echoed through the street as we, myself and fellow missioner Catherine get off the bus in Brasilandia.  The woman waited at the bus stop for us so we could walk together through the streets of the favela in Brazil in order to pray the novena.  The novena is a ritual the woman of Brazil practice many times during the year and today we journey together through Advent. 

We weave through the streets of the favela, streets that just weeks ago were paralyzed by fear from the violence between the police and the gangs but are now alive with the rhythm of life.  Children run through the streets with the strings of a kite in their hands, dogs run next to the children, teens huddle together on a doorstep talking and laughing, men stand and talk to one another, and a group of young men are setting off firecrackers still celebrating the win of their beloved soccer team.  The woman stroll together laughing and catching up on the weekly news of their lives. 

We reach the door of our hostess Celma and she greets us with hugs and kisses. So happy to have us visit her home.  Gathered this evening are nine woman who have worked all day, traveled several hours on a bus to get home, in order to cook for their families, before carving out a little bit of time for themselves to meet and pray.  Prayer meetings in Brasilandia begin around 8pm.  Which is the earliest that folks can get to the church. 

We begin to pray the novena.  I struggle to follow the Portuguese since I am still a new missioner.  I know the prayers are about Mary’s journey to Bethlehem.  We reflect on Mary’s courage and her strength.  I look around the room and I can see the same strength in the woman gathered.  I am very conscious of the noise and things happening around us.  Outside the front gate fireworks continue to go off.  The smell of sulfur fills the room.  Somewhere close by someone has their stereo on and the music bounces off the walls of the house.  Preteen boys run though the house and two girls about seven run up and down the stairs and through the middle of the group several times.  And yet the prayer never stops, never slows.  The woman roll with all the things happening around us.  I wonder if they even notice them like I do. 

I reflect on how with all the commotion, with all the challenges and difficulties that these woman encounter they remain steadfast in their faith.   I think about Mary the Mother of Jesus and how much commotion she must have experienced in her life.  Living faith is not always quiet.  It happens in the mist of life.  I am so impressed by the strong convection of these woman in Brazil who in all the ciaos and demands of their lives remain fervent in their faith. And this night when the women sing “Ava Maria” suddenly all the noise that had once been so profound is no longer apparent.  In a favela in Brazil, woman’s voices join in solidarity praying for joy and for peace.   

December 2012 Newsletter

Carolyn, Fr. Dan & Catherine

Walk for Peace in Brasilandia

Wishing you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from São Paulo, Brazil.  The weather here is about 90 to 100 so it does not feel too much like Christmas. And yet there are lights and decorations hanging throughout the city.

One theme that has always been important for me especially during Christmas is peace.  This year I am reminded in profound ways of what that really means.  The city of São Paulo has had a surge in violence in the last few months.  The people have seen so much death and now are asking for and praying for peace.  Catherine a Lay Missioner and my roommate, Fr. Dan, a Maryknoll Priest and I participated in a peace walk through the area of Brasilandia, which is a part of the city that has been hit hard with violence.  We all work with folks from this neighborhood.  The peace walk was lead by the World Youth Day Cross, which is traveling throughout Brazil prior to the event in Rio next summer. 

It was a moving experience to walk the roads of a community and to see the faces of the people who struggle everyday with the violence in their neighborhoods.  It was wonderful to walk in solidarity with folks who are willing to take a stand for peace.  Some of the youth wrote the word peace on our foreheads as you can see in the picture above. 

                                                                                  The Two Faces of Sao Paulo    

The periphery                 

                    and the city

   

                         My Ministry & Work

Prison Ministry I have been accompanying Kathy             

Bond a Maryknoll Lay Missioner who works with 

woman’s groups in the prisons.  The picture on the

right is in front of a prison were we offer a health class

for elderly woman.  We also visit another prison and 

hold a health class for foreigners and pregnant Brazilians. We work with the prison ministry of the Archdiocese of 

São Paulo.  This time is so important to the woman 

because it helps them understand their health better 

and it also provides time for us to listen to them, pray 

with them, and let them know they are valued.

Woman’s Prayer Group I participate in a prayer group  

in Brasilandia in one of the parishes that Catherine works

in.  It is an important time for these women to come 

together to build community, discuss topics important to 

their lives and to have some sacred time for themselves.  

Center for Juventude (Center for Youth) I am now 

working with teens in a center that offers the Liberal Arts.  

In Brazil school is for half the day.  The center offers a safe 

and positive environment where kids can come and receive 

education they would not get any other place.  I help with 

courses in Communication, Culture and Language.  I am told 

only 15% of kids are able to go to college in the city.  Without 

the courses the center offers the kids would have no chance to continue their education.  I am so happy to be a part of giving these kids a fighting chance for a future where they can dream and become anything they want.  Also, the staff and teens help 

me so much with my language skills and they teach me as much 

as I teach them.

PLEASE CONSIDER SUPPORTING ME IN MISSION!

Please remember that MKLM funds my travel, medical, and living expenses, and other costs associated with keeping me in mission. I ask that you consider donating to the Maryknoll Lay Missioners so that I, and missioners like me, can continue to serve those in need worldwide.

You can now directly support my mission work with MKLM. Funds donated will either be applied directly to support my work, education, and ministries or used to support the general fund of MKLM. Financial Support can be sent to MKLM, P.O. Box 307, Maryknoll, NY 10545-0307 or online by going to https://app.etapestry.com/hosted/MaryknollLayMissioners/OnlineDonation.html?approach=5936 - Carolyn Trumble&contents=of Carolyn Trumble in mission. Please write “Carolyn Trumble- Mission Account” in the memo line or intention box to support me in mission. All contributions are tax deductible.  Also, if you are able to donate it would be great if you let me know that you have donated.  Since my mission account is new I would like to follow up to make sure all is recorded properly.   Thank You.

Tia

If you know me you know how important it is for me to be a good Aunt.  In fact the only people I have ever let call me aunt our my 7 nieces & nephews.  I have always considered our relationships as sacred.

In Brazil a lot of young people call me Tia, which means aunt.  I have to admit I kind of like it.  I think of the Hawaiian understanding of auntie, a wise, respected woman.  And because it is a different word it feels different to me.

Today I visited a house/organization that works with kids who have HIV and have been abandoned.   Some of the children have physical and mental disorders as well.  We were told a few of them had been shaken or thrown across the room so now they were paralyzed or had brain injuries.  Hearing this sent chills up my spin.  I know this happens but it is one thing to know it and another to be standing next to the crib of a little one who has been hurt.

One little boy was about 2 and he was so excited to see us and he kept saying Tia, Tia, Tia, almost as if to say do you see me, do you see me?  Another little girl was showing me a church brochure and she was showing me Mary and saying Mamae em ceu.  Which means mother in the sky.  But it was another little one who had the most impact on me.  We walked in the tv room and there was about 6 kids under the age of 7.  Mostly toddlers.  It seemed to me they all had some sort of mental challenge.  One little girl around 7 years old kept looking at me and then looking down.  I went over and just bent down next to her and started talking softly.  I did not want to touch her because I was not sure of her condition and did not want to scare or upset her.  She came over to me and put my arm around her and pushed me to the floor so she could take a seat on my lap.  Then she wrapped my arms around her.  I figured out she was ok being touched.  She settled back with her thumb in her mouth and continued watching cartoons.  She never said a word, I still don't know if she could speak.  But for a moment today I felt like Aunt Carolyn again.  It was a precious moment and it made me miss my nieces and nephews.

I will never be Aunt Carolyn here in Brazil because my family is not here.  But in the moments that I get to be Tia Carolina I touch a special part of my heart.  I am discerning whether I will be able to go back and work with those children.  It took me 1 1/2 hours from my house to get there this morning.  So if I can find time in my schedule to travel 3 hours I will go back if only to sit on the floor and watch cartoons.

I love being Aunt Carolyn & Tia Carolina